Drop the Story to Feel

Ponderings

Sometimes I wonder how I am going to make it through the day. I awake from a disturbing dream, one from the depths of lovelessness and I am afraid, feeling distorted and alone. What do I do with this energy? I ask for guidance, tap into Mia’s and Judy’s recordings to help clear. Despite that, the negative feelings continue. I also breathe deep as Dr Sue Morter shows to clear, claim emotions and become the master of self, but how do I step into the negative when I want no part of the negative story? 

If I were to give this loveless place a voice, what would the lovelessness say to me? “I need you, I love you, accept me to be the love that I am.” Because of my rejection, a part of my body has become very contracted, emanating an energy of hate, loneliness, fear, abandonment, depression, negative self image, victimization and judgment. What would that look like to open into loveless territory and be brave to embrace something that feels unembraceable? Maybe to lighten the load, I could open up the moon roof to the sun, plant some grass, nurture the green with some water where flowers bloom. This story I can handle. 

I understand that lovelessness is a teacher to love deeply. But I am afraid to love deeply when I have to step into the loveless story to activate love awake. The story seems to disperse my energy into a bubble of fear. But if I drop the story, then maybe my energy can come together where fear becomes the power, the concentrated breath of focus. I suppose dropping the story is like taking control of the mind, the drama and allowing the body to feel, emanate into a healing embrace. Maybe from this practice, we all could become the master of shadowy emotions, claiming all that love offers.

It’s Not Justice I Want, It’s Love

Ponderings

Many of us are experiencing deep shadows purging from our bodies. I have collected a magnitude of negatives that have stuck to me only to regurgitate them from my stomach, throat, and hips in reclamation to what is innocent. I wonder, could humanity do this as well, reclaim innocence through shadow work? With that being said, it’s not justice I want, it’s love. 

The shadows are like unloved items stacked outside of the house, ready for trash pickup or an abandoned car left by the curb because the harsh voice made it sound unworthy. I am healing shadows of brutality from the past in a triad of taking from my innocence. They reject me; I reject you and I reject myself. Yet, I have no desire for the ego to fight for its territory. All I want to do is return to my true essence by loving all three. 

My shadow work also has me contemplating humanity’s past trauma, shadowed forever in dissonance, which can only create more shadows. Yet, what gets overlooked is that we have hidden consonance with each other. As much as we push each other away, we may be more alike in our separation. Maybe it is resonating with the consonance that the root of shadow is the experiences of loveless energy. When we can acknowledge that loveless energy has strongly affected everyone’s innocence, we can let down our guard to receive our innocent expression instead of categorizing experiences to pull us apart. Maybe it is at the root of our shadows that we can heal deeply with compassion instead of judging each other into the shadows. 

The undervalued items outside of the house just want to belong. A neglected neighborhood just wants to be nurtured and loved. The soil of the Earth needs tender loving care to grow nutritional food for us all. So, instead of running from our shadows and claiming justice served. We need to love into and embrace our shadows, embrace each other’s shadows, and embrace humanity’s shadows. Maybe by facing our shadows together, claiming we will push no more into shadowing our existence, we can clean up our mess and co-create an innocent, loving community of support. 

Presidential Debate

Ponderings

Why isn’t there more description in a debate, maybe a graph or an example for everyone to see? When asked, what are you going to do with fracking or Obama care? Show us the thought out process, not just present an abstract idea, concrete that idea.

Ideas are nothing compared to a vision that has worked its way to paper, a computer, a slideshow. Please show me the steps, the timeframe, what does it look like smell like achieving the outcome. Fracking will be a process you say, completed by the end of 2025, but how do you propose to pull the tablecloth off the table without disturbing the dishes?

How do you propose to compliment Obama care or end Obama care? What is being added or replaced? Just saying some words, sharing an idea is nothing compared to the groundwork of concreting it with a timeline of bold words, numbers, and lit up background. Please show us the plan, give us a visual of the framework, slideshow us its existence.

Debates need to be more than talk; talk has nothing to do with doing. Please bring something to the table to show us the commitment, close of being something great; give us something sustainable instead of tickling our ears.

Is There Another Purpose

Ponderings

I am ready for restructuring, but it makes me uneasy when the same violence and forcing that created inequality is being used to restructure the disparity. Is that what it takes to dismantle racism, more pain, fear, and punishment? Maybe that is the only language that the system speaks.
Or perhaps, instead of assuming, I should ask “are people trying to create balance throughout, or is it about a personal agenda?” I suppose at one end it is a big purge; people want a change, we need to change. But what about the other purpose, the one where people are attacking the innocent: neighborhoods where people are without homes, small businesses, and the lively hoods of ordinary folk, forcing their agenda upon another?

#livingsystemawareness

We Seem Divided But Our Innate Intelligence Is Trying to Pull us Into Balance.

Ponderings

People are saying, “I can no longer sacrifice my wellbeing for another.” They are suffering from mechanical protocol made to protect people from a virus. The people who speak out against the mechanical decisions are experiencing a natural living system pull to bring their living system back to balance. However, the mechanical system will not allow this, instilling a belief instead of self-organization.

Now we are falling further into artificial intelligence to manage a natural living system, separating us from relationships, caring for another, and allowing our natural resourceful innovation to overcome a life event. Artificial intelligence separates us from our natural birthright to self organize, express intelligently, and live in freedom. The separation from our natural living system tendencies brings depression and anger. People feel the need to fight, when pushed into fear, and make it seem like we are dividing. People are only trying to pull themselves back into balance from the mind over matter created unbalance.

 The unbalance is an emotional discrepancy from believing in a mechanical dialogue, and laying idle is the unused potential. Our potential is an interactive current of matter, energy that gathers information. It may be unpredictable, but people can self-correct intuitively. We are not being allowed, nor have we permitted ourselves to self-correct. Humans are part of a living system, a system more significant than ourselves. People can stabilize and maintain their own equilibrium, which is far more intelligent than science. We are nonlinear, an open system that changes with the ebb and flow of the currents. We are not the status quo; we are not machines but have a natural intelligence to maintain our balance through fluxes of energy.

#livingsystemawareness