Drop the Story to Feel


Sometimes I wonder how I am going to make it through the day. I awake from a disturbing dream, one from the depths of lovelessness and I am afraid, feeling distorted and alone. What do I do with this energy? I ask for guidance, tap into Mia’s and Judy’s recordings to help clear. Despite that, the negative feelings continue. I also breathe deep as Dr Sue Morter shows to clear, claim emotions and become the master of self, but how do I step into the negative when I want no part of the negative story? 

If I were to give this loveless place a voice, what would the lovelessness say to me? “I need you, I love you, accept me to be the love that I am.” Because of my rejection, a part of my body has become very contracted, emanating an energy of hate, loneliness, fear, abandonment, depression, negative self image, victimization and judgment. What would that look like to open into loveless territory and be brave to embrace something that feels unembraceable? Maybe to lighten the load, I could open up the moon roof to the sun, plant some grass, nurture the green with some water where flowers bloom. This story I can handle. 

I understand that lovelessness is a teacher to love deeply. But I am afraid to love deeply when I have to step into the loveless story to activate love awake. The story seems to disperse my energy into a bubble of fear. But if I drop the story, then maybe my energy can come together where fear becomes the power, the concentrated breath of focus. I suppose dropping the story is like taking control of the mind, the drama and allowing the body to feel, emanate into a healing embrace. Maybe from this practice, we all could become the master of shadowy emotions, claiming all that love offers.

One Abortion Story


Abortion is considered morally wrong in Pakistan. Yet, Mehnaz was to be married at thirteen and became pregnant five times by the age of nineteen (Hadid, 2018, np). The fifth pregnancy brought fear, fear that the child will be a girl, “so she did what millions of Pakistani women do every year”; abort the pregnancy (Hadid, 2018, np). If a society, a religion, is so against abortion, and the government deems it illegal to abort, then societies need virtue ethics to support a woman’s body.

It seems contradictory that Mehnaz had three abortions because her husband will not wear condoms, for it is against his religion (Hadid, 2018, np). Does the man think the abortion has nothing to do with him nor the gender of the child? Mehnaz is afraid to have a girl because they consider girls to be economically draining to the family (Hadid, 2018, np). She already had four daughters, and her husband threatened to kick her out of the house if she had another (Hadid, 2018, np). Mehnaz was thirteen when she married, she cannot read nor write, and was ignorant about sex when she married (Hadid, 2018, np). It was not until social workers visited her house that she became aware of contraceptives (Hadid, 2018, np). However, they did not work. The birth control pill made her dizzy, and she became pregnant after a birth control injection (Hadid, 2018, np). What is a woman to do when she has no power over her own body? Maybe abortion would not be an option if the best consequences would support the moral rule; no abortion (May & Delston, 2016, p. 30).

If abortion is morally wrong, then the right action needs to be taken for the woman to achieve success in not aborting. Here, between a wife and a husband, the right actions could be in an” accordance with the correct moral rule” the moral rule would be no abortion (May & Delston, 2016, p. 30). A society embedded in beliefs cannot maintain a moral rule of no abortion when the female’s body is believed to be owned by the man but the woman’s responsibility. The ownership versus responsibility seems absolutely insane and imperialistic. The patriarchal society should support a woman rather than hold expectations like, “do not have an abortion and do not have a girl.” The men in the society lack responsibility towards their own moral belief and need the right action so abortion is not an issue. 

Mehnaz is just one story that encompasses abortion; there are many other scenarios. Abortion is very complicated, and one shoe does not fit all. However, until women merge into their goddess essence, abortion will be an issue; for a woman to step into her goddess essence than the man would step into his god essence. Together, they would allow no one to desecrate her body, nor would she choose to desecrate her body.


Hadid, D (2018. November 8). Why The “Abortion Rate In Pakistan Is One Of The World’s Highest.” Retrieved from https://www.npr.org/sections/goatsandsoda/2018/11/28/661763318/why-the-abortion-rate-in-pakistan-is-one-of-the-worlds-highest

May, L & Delston, B, J. (2016). Applied Ethics: A Multicultural Approach Sixth Edition. New York NY; Routledge.