Where do I stand
in the mist of all these books, each offered as an appetizer, waiting for me to take a bite of the sensual crumbs as if I could get a taste of myself.
I can’t help but feel captured by their presences, that I have to prove myself to them, get to know them, dialogue with them.
When all I want to do is release and love, lean into the discovery within the pages of creativity, the place where a child sits in wonderment, playing with her books, setting them up for a tea party.
We converse over tea the books and I, conversation is a willing intellectual passings, from one book to another. And me, I would be the open book with random writings and some empty pages.
I would not want to fill myself up, certainly not with ideal chit chat but with meaningful phrases that with each inking would create another empty page.
Wastes her time, passing me by without a hello.
Today she is wearing Sergio Rossi, the kind that makes my feet hurt; the slope from the long wooden tongue at the heel, forcing my toes into a point I don’t care to conform to.
Her Coco Chanel, too narcissistic to cover the back of her calves, leaving her vainglorious skin ripe to be licked by any dog in need. I know a stray dog who would do such a thing, always licking for attention, or at least to be useful, like fetching her a hamburger or something.
I am ready for restructuring, but it makes me uneasy when the same violence and forcing that created inequality is being used to restructure the disparity. Is that what it takes to dismantle racism, more pain, fear, and punishment? Maybe that is the only language that the system speaks.
Or perhaps, instead of assuming, I should ask “are people trying to create balance throughout, or is it about a personal agenda?” I suppose at one end it is a big purge; people want a change, we need to change. But what about the other purpose, the one where people are attacking the innocent: neighborhoods where people are without homes, small businesses, and the lively hoods of ordinary folk, forcing their agenda upon another?
Science is a tool for humanity and should not be used as a source to govern humanity. Using science to govern people is a mechanical system forced upon a living system. Humanity is an intelligent living system full of innovation, hence this newsletter, starting with Rachel Carson. #livingsystemawarness